Step 1: Elect a leader. THIS is Wizard. He has no teeth, he has no experience and he is NEVER right. But God the man does love to smile, and so you will forgive him his frequent shortcomings and follow his bliss.
Step 2: Dig a 9-foot poo Hole...then climb down and pose inside of it. Then and only then can you begin tackling the foundation.
Step 3: Find a 40 pound avil and pound a plot of dirt approximately 507 times. When your arms are numb you may take a ten second break.
Step 4. Water Rocks...aka make it look like you're doing work so you don't have to pound earth with the anvil again.
Step 5: Haul 15 bags of concrete once you have properly watered your rocks, and then stab the bags with your rusty shovel and begin dispersing.
Step 6. Sometimes there are no rocks to water so you must just stand, stare, and accept the fact that everyone knows you're not doing work... and that's OK b/c most likely Wizard has just made a very large mistake that the others will now puzzle over for a solid 46 minutes.
Step 7: Concrete Mixin...the rocks are watered, the concrete is spread, tiz time to bend over and mix with all your might until the rocky mess becomes a cement stew
Step 8: Shovel allll the mixed concrete into one red wheel barrel...(there were two at one point, but naturally one now lies broken), then take turns barreling the concrete to the wizard.
Step 9: After accidentally pouring half of the first barrel over the edge, Wizard will begin smoothing the concrete into place (he will inevitably come up very very short, for as I mentioned, he is ALWAYS wrong, but you are now and expert concrete layer, so this is not a problem).
Step 10: You have in 7 hours accomplished what most "Northern" construction companies would in about thirty minutes. Pat yourself on the back, chug some communal Coca-cola and call it good.Tomorrow is another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment